Pets hold a special place in our lives, whether they have fur, feathers, or scales. They provide us with a type of relationship that most people cannot: genuine unconditional love, and unconditional non-judgment (for the most part – several of my own pets have gotten quite judgy when dinner is late). Over large portions of our lives, they are with us through joyful days, stay with us when are in low places, and bring us levity in everyday moments. They do not judge our flaws, they do not criticize our decisions, and they only ask us for our presence and love.

There is also research that supports the depth of the bond between pets and humans. They are known to lower stress hormones, lower blood pressure, and increase our levels of oxytocin (which helps us feel connected). They fill a human need of being perceived positively, and it’s also rewarding when we have something depend on us (like children and animals) and we are able to fill their needs. People also show less inhibition with animals when seeking physical comfort. For all these reasons and more, our pets make our lives better.

Grief and our Animals

Grief may show up in various ways, including emotional, physical, and behavioral changes. You may experience deep sadness, anger, anxiety, or guilt, often accompanied by fatigue, changes in appetite, changes in memory, or difficulty sleeping. Our pet was likely the one that was with us in times of sadness, and now there is a struggle to process their loss without their comfort we relied on. Pets are beloved companions, and their absence can leave a profound void. You might find yourself reminiscing about your pet’s presence, feeling isolated in your sorrow, or struggling with feelings of regret about your pet’s care. Understanding that these feelings are a natural response to loss can be an essential part of taking care of yourself during the process of grief.

Society often struggles to address grief, and when it comes to losing a pet, we may find even less empathy or understanding for our loss. You deserve to feel your grief fully and take the time you need for yourself. Allow yourself to process your emotions and prioritize self-care. In counselling, we can explore how to honor what your pet brought to your life. For many, pets are the first relationships that provide a safe, non-judgmental space. Reflecting on the gifts they brought into your life can help you carry their love forward.  Finding a way to memorialize them, whether through a ritual or tribute, can help you carry their love into the future. They may never be replaced, but their impact can continue to enrich your life.

Source: Scientific American: The Science of Pets (2021)