“Being a Caregiver is Killing Me” – According to Google Ads, this is one of the top searches where my ads show up. If you have put in that search term and you have found this page, I want you to know two things before we talk about anything else:
- You are not alone in feeling this way. It’s one of the most common searches, which means many caregivers share this same thought – that it’s too much, that you’re spread too thin, and you’re being asked to give more than you have left to give.
- You are not alone going forward. If you need to talk, that’s what I’m here for. Together, we can make a plan to lighten this load – to look at how caregiving has changed you, and what you have lost in this process, and what you might need to begin recovering. Illness does not just affect the person who unwell; it affects everyone around them. Caregivers often get missed when empathy and support are being handed out. In BC, Family Caregivers of BC is a wonderful organization with people that will help you navigate the system and help you access available supports. You deserve at least as much help as you’re providing.
Back to Caregiver Burnout:
I often work with caregivers who are exhausted — not just tired, but empty. They’ve poured everything into supporting a loved one and somehow still feel like it’s not enough. Many of them are part of the sandwich generation, caring for an aging parent while also managing work, family, and daily life.
Burnout doesn’t always show up as someone falling apart. Sometimes, it’s a quiet loss of empathy — a sense of frustration, guilt, or even wishing this chapter would just end. That thought can feel unbearable because caregiving often ends when someone has passed away. But that wish isn’t what it appears to be; it’s a sign that you’ve reached your limit and that something needs to change.
When every task feels urgent — every doctor call, every medication reminder, every small crisis — it becomes nearly impossible to find space for yourself. You start to disappear into the care of another person. But all people need empathy, not just the person you’re caring for. You deserve love, compassion, and rest, too.
When I work with caregivers, we look for imperfect solutions. Perfect ones rarely exist — the illness or situation won’t allow for it. Instead, we find something that creates even a small bit of relief. A plan that might not check every box, but lets you breathe. That small pocket of space can become the start of something more sustainable.
I wish I had understood sooner that it’s okay to reach out for help before everything feels unbearable. I used to think solutions had to be perfect or there was no point in trying. But some of the imperfect ones — the ones that felt risky or uncertain — ended up being better than I ever imagined.
There is help. This doesn’t have to continue as it is right now. You deserve support as a caregiver, just as much as the person you care for deserves your support.
If you’re ready to create a bit of space for yourself — even just enough to breathe — I’d be honoured to walk alongside you.